This post looks at the second facet that we have grouped under the binge drinking motivator of ‘Relationships’ – a person’s ability to communicate. Largely going hand in hand with confidence, a young person’s ability (or inability) to communicate their needs and wants is a large reason why someone would choose to drink to excess. For this post, I specifically want to look at communication with the opposite sex (or communication with the same sex, if you are that way inclined).
Let me wind this right back to the beginning of January. I just started a new relationship with a really sweet girl and I thought ‘perfect, so I wont have to worry about not being able to drink and meeting new women throughout the year’. Luckily she broke up with me 4 weeks in and I ended up having to.
So, this put me in a bit of a predicament. Going to an all-boys boarding school, I don’t think I ever actually learnt how to socialise with girls, sober. I mean, I’m good at talking to women. I have lots and lots of women friends, but when it comes to putting the moves on. horrible.
So, I have to say that I own that I am now 22 and I am very much learning the basics. I have learned that learning how to communicate with women is damn hard. There really is no one perfect way but, I can definitely see that it is possible to get better at it.
I must say however, that after having dedicated several months of reading and learning how to improve oneself in so many different areas and levels (from health to communication to psychology), I have come to realise that probably the most obscure and difficult of all these streams of wisdom is that of learning how to communicate to the opposite sex.
What I don’t understand is why isn’t this taught to young people? Why aren’t young men taught how to communicate with women? The world would be a much better place.
If they were, three things would happen.
1) There would be less violence
2) People would drink less and
3) Kebab sales would plummet.
I guess in times past there probably wasn’t as much need for it as much as there is now. Things were much more decided back then. You were married off according to what your parents suggested was right for you. Therefore, the ability to communicate was much less important.
Today, in Western Society especially, a person’s success in relationship is largely down to their ability to communicate. Most young people only learn how to build relationships when they are drinking. So, really, they don’t learn how to at all. I believe that this is something that sits as essential for some young Australians to learn to be able to step away from excessive drinking.
When I tell people that communicating with women one of the areas that I want to improve in my life, its interesting to see such a difference in reaction… but such an equal fascination to find out if its working or not. To answer the question, I guess you can say that it is working. I am acquiring a much deeper understanding as to what women want and how they want to be communicated with. But at the same time, the more I seem to be finding my purpose in life, the less I seem to mind what happens with them.
To wrap up, being able to communicate effectively with others and having the confidence to do so, to me, is essential to separate myself from a necessity to drink in social situations. I know that I am not alone on this either. If we want to solve our binge drinking problem, then this needs to be taught to people from a young age.